Dear Imac (Yes, Again)

Ah, my dear iMac, you are still acting like a petulant child — or perhaps that is more aptly worded as you are acting like a spoiled teenager. I am getting farther and farther behind in work.

I took you to the Apple Store, you got to be ogled by three geniuses in the most famous Palm Beach, Florida. You were spoken about by Apple Care technicians and even Product Specialists back in Washington state, your former home. You received a letter over the internet.

Why, you had the pleasure of having your operating system, Leopard, archived and reinstalled. That stopped your garbled words, but did not stop your attempts at slow motion to the point of a full stop. You chose to act out yet again. Another tech or two, another Product Specialist testing you online, spending my expensive cellular minutes, yet again. Many notes were read and rewritten about your behavior. And this time, you got an entirely new lease on what operates you: a complete erase and reinstall of Leopard.

Twice now, I have reinstalled printers and software, having faith in your new attitude. Perhaps attitude was the wrong choice of words from my mouth for you have shown attitude. Yet another call, more tests (Yes, the same ones, I am well practiced at them now.) Yet more discussions about you, more notes written, and yet another Product Specialist. And now, another visit scheduled for the Apple Store to visit a genius.

But no, I am not taking you to the same geniuses, I wanted to, if only to see their smiling faces – and perhaps, another shake of their head. They are, however to busy to have you visit soon. So,the three of us together will visit another bar, another group of geniuses… and perhaps they will read the notes by Charles, and agree with him: You need a bit of an overhaul; he feels I have suffered enough at your hands, perhaps a new logic board and hard drive would fix what ails you, assuming it is more than attitude. But the choice is theirs, not his. So, do not go into stealth mode and suddenly speed up.

So, is this what you wanted? To have parts replaced, hoping for newer parts to be more like your cousins, the newer MacBooks? Is it jealousy that has taken control and slowed you down?

Get over it! I say in a fit of frustration in an otherwise near perfect day.

And knock it off. If I wanted to do work on my personal laptop, I would have sold you off when I first bought it. You are supposed to be the workhorse — and you were a darn good one until you got an attitude (or broke, depending on who is right – and I so hope it is Charles, for attitude and I will never reconcile with one another, sigh.)

Accept their repairs with pride and be a newer and better you. I like having you around and would hate to resort to selling you off.

With love and much frustration,

(Signed)
Your Owner (who had planned on getting you a pretty new keyboard without 7 months of toast and Kashi Bar crumbs in it, a cordless one so you did not feel the tug of the cord when I forget you are attached)

P.S. If you did this just to get attention, you chose the wrong owner, bub, you should have chosen someone with a 5 page ranking.