I have never understood Christmas and Birthday present buying/giving habits of others, and don’t get me wrong, I have fallen into it, though on a much, much, lesser basis. This post is meant merely as food for thought for those whose kids are getting piles of presents.
When we have too much work to do, too many problems to solve, too many places to visit during vacations we are overwhelmed. Too many choices at the buffet or salad bar? Overwhelming. Too many books to read? Overwhelming. And. So. On. Yet, even those of us who have felt overwhelmed and not liked it at the time, overwhelm our children with too many presents at Christmas (or birthdays).
We held back at Christmas and birthdays. Yes, a few times he got “too much” at Christmas, but never to the extent of the parents around us or those I worked with. We always felt the average parent (that we knew or worked with) went overboard year after year.
But whether we (the collective, everyone, we) like to give our children more or less than others, why not spread it out over the year? Why give it all at Christmas and birthdays? Why make children, nieces, nephews, etc., wait until then and slam them with too many things to enjoy at one time. Why not just buy an occasional surprise gift or take them shopping? Why not make a new family tradition of at least one more special day, tailored to your family, to even out the year? Half of you are going to spend a year or two paying off Christmas anyway… think of it as less finance charges… or better yet, think of it as an extra opportunity to show your child, “Hey, I was thinking about you today!” – and let Christmas and/or birthdays be less overwhelming.
I’m my nephew’s godmother, so every year on the anniversary of his baptism I give him a savings bond. I’ll do that until he reaches a certain age, then give him just a check – to be saved. I also try and spend a day in that time frame (not necessarily the exact anniversary) DOING something with him – McD’s playland, Chuck E Cheese, whatever. My Mom is really big on buying him and his sister toy after toy after toy: I prefer to spend my money doing things with them, from taking them to fairs or the Union to feed the ducks or baseball games, etc. I figure those are going to be memories we can all share as years go on, instead of toys collecting dust.
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“We” do tend to go overboard with the gift giving. The media whips us into a frenzy I think.
I’ve always liked the idea from Tolkien’s The Hobbit. Hobbits gave gifts to others on their own birthdays. And, they gave “mathoms.” These were “recycled” gifts. Things that you have that don’t fit a use for you, but might for someone else. I have a “mathom” box at my house, and I don’t use it enough.
Maybe we should get back to just giving handmade gifts?
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My sister advised me when my son was born to only let him ask Santa for one gift, as the cost of the gift gets more expense the older the child gets. That was good advice but I took it one step further, he also only gets one gift from me and one from his father. It’s what he’s always known and everyone’s happy.
I love Thanksgiving because it’s all about being together and not about gifts.
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