09 May 2009 @ 9:19 

This morning, I realized that though for some “overwhelmed” can be caused by too many people dumping too much on them to do at once, for others it really means they, themselves, “underdid” too many months.

So, to those of you who are overwhelmed by someone else (or the many), I feel for you! For those of us who brought it on ourselves by my definition, suck it up and start on one thing and repeat. And that means me, too. Just as soon as I have tea and a Kashi bar. We overslept and the keyboard found me before I had self control to say, “No.”

Ok, the above is true, but a teeny bit in jest, but this is not spoken in jest:

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day and I have already seen people around me who have lost their mothers welling up and some on the verge, already, of being overwhelmed with grief revisited or not yet worked through. Hang in there.

Death is final in that we are left behind and they move on to a better place; where, depending upon their beliefs. Once we have gone through our grief to the point that we realize part of them is left behind with us, in our hearts, in our memories of shared experiences – we go on to understand that part is a much bigger piece of our everyday lives than we could have possibly realized. It is true they live on within those that knew them well.

I know most people want to be remembered, and many think they won’t be, but if you sit down in quiet and think about all the people you have known that died before you, you may be surprised to realize just how much they have been remembered both consciously and unconsciously all along.

It is how you will be remembered that is up to you, ’cause it is your actions and reactions, your lack of, your smiles, your frowns, your treatment of others that will be remembered, but that is a whole other post.

Speaking of posts, I did a photo and short poem post last night about the color, “tentative red” – and where it comes from, titled Women, In Memoriam. Actually, as the norm for me, my unconscious wrote it, the words just poured out, in part evoked by the photo itself, in part by the death of a woman I do not even know, but someone else cared deeply for her. I find the poem’s premise possible, but then, I believe in miracles and that possibilities of what is and what is not are endless. I’ve also gone long past the stage of grief to almost always being able to think about my mom as if she is here, though she is physically not – and without sadness or tears. She is that much a part of me, my life. Same with my dad.

May you come to that point sooner than later. Happy Mother’s Day!

Posted By: Marcia
Last Edit: 09 May 2009 @ 09:19

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 30 Apr 2009 @ 9:47 

This post is about the part of life that is other than one’s spiritual side.

Yesterday a friend called in tears, not over herself, but over someone younger she cared deeply about, before she hung up I had her laughing. Could I do that all the time? No!

Yes, what I said was ‘perfect’ (and a fluke, I might add). But it was not my words really, but this: She was receptive to feeling better, she was receptive to allowing her heart a moment’s peace.That, y’all is my “Only the Good” thought for the week.

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And this, y’all, is the point. There are days our emotions are running away with us – many of those days we choose to feel them, allow them to wrap around us in comfort or nearly squash the life out of us. And honestly, there are times we need that release, both extremes. But, we also have to accept responsibility to turn our day around — if only moments at a time — to get on to daily living. And to allow that leap from one emotion to another or on to business at hand, we have to be receptive.

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I feel the key to balancing our daily lives is really a simple tripod, a word I detest because it is so popular in sales hype, “Kick the third leg out of their argument (tripod) to not buy.” Those that know me, know I avoid sales hype.

But, shoving that thought aside, a tripod is also sturdy, that which steadies.

The willingness “get the business taken care of, too,” in between emotional highs and lows, is the third leg of the tripod that both steadies and grounds us. And to that we darn well have to be receptive, because emotions are powerful and love to run our lives for us.

This past year in my extended world, I have seen three examples of people receptive to shoving one emotion aside for another and to getting on with business — in spite of how hard it had to have been: my friend yesterday whose younger generation is following the wrong path; J’s mom and dad who lost him and he was our son’s best friend; C, who lost her mom; and, today, Shelly Kneupper Tucker, who lost her niece. Shelly and her Muse discussed/fought on grief vs. getting on to business today in her Only the Good Friday Post. It is a good read.

All those mentioned above hung in there, allowed their emotions to flow, but checked them, at times, by being receptive to their other needs. I’m proud of them all for setting an example for us.

Come to think of it, I did it once or twice myself. And I am one heck of a bundle of emotions normally. You can do it, too. Hold on to that thought. You can do it, and doing it is not wrong, it is right and it is necessary for humanity to survive – and you are part of humanity.

I found our grief useful to the world… aka this is how I have coped at times: Life Tears

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 03 Feb 2009 @ 20:00 

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Dear J:

You were my favorite of all his friends and I made sure to tell you when you had grown to be a man.

You had embedded manners that others lacked – even in your teenage years – and showed more than just mere respect toward us.

You had that sweetness underlying that daily living never managed to destroy.

You held your son as only a dad could do and wore that pride for us to see.

You cheated death before…

WHY THE hell DID IT FIND YOU NOW?

P.S. Just so you know, if you’re looking down or over shoulders or from wherever you might have planned to be: It may have won that battle, but it lost in one big way, for you are burrowed into many hearts, including mine… and death can’t reach that which is tucked within us, so you are here to stay.

M

Posted By: Marcia
Last Edit: 03 Feb 2009 @ 20:00

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